My mood is always wavering—one moment I’m so skittish to blog about how happy and stable I am with everything then I’m like nah the next because I’m crumbling to the pieces of sadness and mess that is my life. 

I have finally updated the January month of my planner which was really relaxing! The (low quality) photo includes the notes I took during our Retreat where we were labeled as the “worst batch ever” lmao but whatever we have our own trip and we have our own fun; we’re the best batch ever in our own world!

One word I could describe my state right now is subtle. Things have become smooth after I passed my defense (of which I left out a big sigh of relief as I walked out the defense room like I just breathed out all the strain and pressure that was stuck inside of me for a really long time and it felt really good).

But not as smooth as I thought it’d be. The exams will be my one last push in high school and I want it to be worth it. I don’t want to hear myself asking the question “What if?” after graduation. And also I’m stuck between not wanting to leave high school because of my friends but also squirming to go to college to meet new friends and discover more in life. Which is why, I think, I’m so emotional today. Or it’s just the exams getting in my nerves aahhhccckk.