Today marks the day I finished the last set of exams I will ever take in high school! And man, it was no piece of cake. We won’t have any more classes next week but we still have to go to school for our clearance and other graduating prompts. D-22 ‘til graduation!

My first heartbreak, UPCAT, finally showed up and explained to me what has become of us (cue: Urbandub - The Fight Is Over.mp3). My gosh all I can say is wtf sorry for the word pero ang bobo ko naman sa Math! 13%??? Aba matinde someone bring me back to Grade 1!! And also my Reading Compre mygahd but it’s fine considering the words were already swimming in my head during that time. My percentage in Science is already okay for me tbh since I didn’t know much.

I’m giving myself a pat (one lang talaga) in the back because I’m allowed to take recon or appeal in UP Manila (can’t in UPLB because of the humiliating 38 and 13%) and indeed when I saw my UPG I was so excited but then all of a sudden I just decided to pursue my college endeavors in UST. Partially because UPM doesn’t offer my course (which is, BS Food Tech) and because I actually came to love UST when I took the entrance exam and passed it, and maybe, just maybe, because like in the game of patintero, feeling ko saling kitkit ako.

But I need not to sulk over my dream school anymore, for I know that the Lord has prepared something greater for me in UST.

My mood is always wavering—one moment I’m so skittish to blog about how happy and stable I am with everything then I’m like nah the next because I’m crumbling to the pieces of sadness and mess that is my life. 

I have finally updated the January month of my planner which was really relaxing! The (low quality) photo includes the notes I took during our Retreat where we were labeled as the “worst batch ever” lmao but whatever we have our own trip and we have our own fun; we’re the best batch ever in our own world!

One word I could describe my state right now is subtle. Things have become smooth after I passed my defense (of which I left out a big sigh of relief as I walked out the defense room like I just breathed out all the strain and pressure that was stuck inside of me for a really long time and it felt really good).

But not as smooth as I thought it’d be. The exams will be my one last push in high school and I want it to be worth it. I don’t want to hear myself asking the question “What if?” after graduation. And also I’m stuck between not wanting to leave high school because of my friends but also squirming to go to college to meet new friends and discover more in life. Which is why, I think, I’m so emotional today. Or it’s just the exams getting in my nerves aahhhccckk.

r e c e n t l y ;

i. spent my valentines day by watching That Thing Called Tadhana with Gia! The movie is the best I swear it made me laugh so hard with all the punch lines Angelica Panganiban and JM De Guzman are throwing at each other! (non-verbatim eg. JM: “Ang bottomline, hindi ka na nya mahal.” Angelica: “T*ng*na close ba tayo? Ang sakit mo naman magsalita!” and when the credits started to roll my tears started to roll on my cheeks too because I didn’t want the movie to end it was just starting! 

ii. when I didn’t pass upcat, I felt the world lay everything on my shoulder. I’m still sad whenever I think of it because UP is my dream school, although there’s recon, maybe God is telling me that UP is not just for me. And just when I thought I’m just going to sell sampaguita flowers in front of Quiapo, I found out I passed ustet! I was in Batangas for RSPC the day of the results, I texted my dad I didn’t win and he replied me with “pumasa ka ust” and in that moment I was the happiest journalist who just lost a contest!

iii. defense week this week! Ugggh it’s what every graduating student tries to run away from–thesis. I am so agitated because I don’t know how defense works and I am just so nervous!! I was actually glad for the Chinese New Year on Thursday because it means no classes and rest day for me but ta-da! they decided to move the honors’ thesis defense on that day. But still, it means more time to study and practice defending my research! I am crossing my fingers and hoping for no re-defense though. 

iv. i’ve been reading Haruki Murakami’s Norwegian Wood for 24 days already. Gahd, I am taking so long to finish this book because I’ve been hella busy and preoccupied with school! I think I can finish it this Saturday because I’ll be done with defense by then (hopefully) and I seriously just have to finish this. Murakami’s writing is astounding and it’s actually okay that I’m reading it too slowly because I get to absorb his words more. (a/n: earphones included because of The Beatles’ song with the same title as the book!)

• Christmas is just around the corner and everyone sure is busy! Busy buying gifts and preparing for the holidays, and I’m also preoccupied as my teachers really let us experience the season of giving by handing us tons of requirements and setting exams before Christmas. So yes, I’m very busy drowning in a sea of schoolworks and lessons to catch up on.

• I have reached my last leg of joining inter-school Bible quiz bees and God has blessed me with a first place tilt together with my 3 other schoolmates Esther, Japhet, and Gwen during the Federation of Christian Schools last December 4! All the skipping of classes were not in vain!

• Victory Fort’s Appreciation Night was so nostalgic! I had to walk from One World Place to church (3 blocks away, so it’s fine lol) to avoid being way too late because wow my parents and I left home at 5PM (event starts 7PM) and I was still 15 minutes late? It was fun to be in the companionship of other ministry volunteers, knowing that there are a lot of people (there were so many youth!!) who are willing to serve God. I was also able to witness the performance of Trumpets’ Pamilya Maleta which is so inspiring and funny all the same! 

• A cliniquing was held two days after suspension so I was like lol still have to catch up on school how to breathe but I learned so much and met new friends! My batchmate KC and I, felt so much tension with our fellow journalists but during the last day I just couldn’t not talk to them so I took the chance and it all went down to good! They were actually all funny! David Franco’s line from 21 Jumpstreet is really legit where he said “Everyone’s a stranger until you give them a chance”.

*The nail art was made during our TLE class, I felt like a girl.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” - Nelson Mandela

There were no classes (kind of) the whole week because it was Academic Week! Kind of ironic, right? But it was a week dedicated to educational stuff so here goes:

• After so many years of studying in my school, the clubs have finally risen to prove that they exist! Usually, they just hire members and then do nothing for the rest of the year but this time they made booths, exhibits, and garage sales!
• The Science Club made those balloon stuff wherein you pop one and they’ll ask you a corresponding Science-related question (they were all so hard even in the easy section! I mean seriously, what comet hit planet Jupiter? <Google said it’s Shoemaker-Levy 9 and I was like Oo nga pala no!). They also made a watermelon explode as what I’ve seen in 9gag, and other science-y stuff!
• Grade 9 students had a project wherein they had to throw a birthday party so they did! It was a 7th birthday of a 14 or 15 year old girl and the set up was so funny!
• I joined English-related contests but two things were unexpected! Winning the extemporaneous speaking, text twist with my 9th grade partner, and placing 2nd on reader’s theater really shocked me because I didn’t really join extempo in the first place and we only practiced Dr. Seuss’ Oh! The Places You’ll Go! the day before the contest!
• Shoot ‘N Math was really fun to watch! I didn’t join because I believe I suck too much at Math, and so much more in basketball. There is one schoolmate I was really amazed at because he answered all the Math questions in less than 10 seconds (and those were square root and trigo questions, I tell you) and shot the balls effortless, like he was just throwing the ball oh my gosh! He isn’t even on the honors list and not a part of the varsity team!

I am really thankful for this activity because it helped me to catch up on missed homeworks, quizzes, and lectures because I was on camp last last week. I’ll blog about that soon! Photo creds to Wayne, Rlyn, and basically everyone who took shots using those cameras everyone borrowed during the event!