I really don’t know how to start this post. I feel like there is a hole somewhere and I can’t find the words to fill in the gap so I keep on typing and deleting everything.

Call it a writer’s block or something, there’s a lot going on in my life that I haven’t shared in my blog because I simply do not know how to start(!) but I really, really do not want to get tired of this hobby so I hope I’ll be able to freely blog again by starting off with the things I’m CURRENTLY:

READING. I actually just finished it a while ago but it’s still Sunday so it’s counted? Heheh. The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson is seriously on my forever favorite list ugh!! It taught me a lot about grief, love and acceptance. This book, quel dork! I secretly loved how the word ‘deflower’ was used and it’s so cute although the meaning says otherwise.

LISTENING to Ed Sheeran’s Thinking Out Loud. When Ed’s new album was released last June, it became my jam for 2 consecutive months I sweaaar! When I first listened to this song I just know that this should be my song when I walk down the aisle. My cousins and I planned to go to his concert on March but tickets were already sold out on the selling day!! The consolation prize I got was the release mv of his song. D: But I’m planning to go to The Vamps’ con too but not sure yet. Awesome band concerts lined up for 2015 I’m so mad!

THINKING about the things that we could be …biglang ganon hahaha. No really, I think there are things that I should be doing but at the same time I don’t think there are any but still, gah! I guess I’m always so pressured.

WISHING that I can be a person who learns how to prioritize things. It’s a wish, because although I’m losing the fangirl feels, I don’t think I’m ready to fully leave. I kind of still want to be that person who says yolo to things I don’t feel like doing.

HOPING to get good grades this second grading! I promised myself I’ll do better but now I feel like I’ll have lower grades especially in Physics. I just want to bang my head in the wall because Physics. Ugh. This week is exams’ week too so I really have to get my head in the game (but my heart’s in the song jk). F o c u s !

WEARING a varsity short! I joined two fun runs this month and I feel so weak lol but the fun run today, which is a boy scout fun run, was so fun I can’t wait to blog about it!

WANTING to get rid of insecurities and low self-esteem. I often find myself stuck between two personalities because one minute I joke and laugh with other people but the next I just want to cover myself because of something someone said. I want to not be affected of words so easily. I want to not think that they’re the deadliest weapon in the history of ever.

NEEDING moooore paperbacks! Books are a big part of my life already. When I want to learn, I read. When I want to forget, I read. I just need to always read. It’s an oxygen. 

FEELING happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. Taylor Swift perfectly described it. With Luhan leaving exo (2 members lost in 1 year, I could only cry and sigh), with all the happenings in school of which I will blog about soon, with deep emotions these books I’ve been reading give me, I am ambivalent.

This post came out too long, phew.